You ever feel like you don’t belong any there. When I am at home I feel like I don’t want to be there. When I am out I feel like I don’t want to be there. Well not that I don’t want to be there but that I don’t belong there. I feel like I am just going threw the motions of life. At no point do I feel complete.
Where do I belong ? I guess this is question I can not answer. There is no answer. My boys are getting old enough. They no longer need me. I am wandering around in ￼this crazy world trying to find myself. Who am I? I have yet to figure that out. How do figure that out. For so long I was some one wife. A life time ago. Then I was the boys mom. I was the fun one. The crazy one. Really who am I?
Not sure if any one knows the real me. If people knew what I thinking I don’t think any one would like me. The thoughts that go threw my head are crazy. I have only let a few in. That ended not so good. One left the country and the other one not only shut me out. He blocked me from all contact.
After that I realized I can’t let any one in again. The wall must go up and stay up! No one is getting threw any more! Trust no one ever! They say they will never leave! They will and when they do they take another part of you with them. They will take and take till there is nothing left! The wall was up for so long.
This time I built it stronger. No one will get threw. I need to find myself before the wall ever comes down. Till then I go threw the motions of life. I can’t feel happy or sad. I just feel nothing. I can be who you want me to be for the moment. I hope to find where I belong..,,,