Have I become that girl??? Dear lord when I got first got divorced. I would literally have a breakfast date lunch and dinner. All 3 different guys. I would have a meal say goodbye and go home get ready for the next date. I never wanted to go back to that girl. Some how I have become that again. First date is like an interview. You can tell by the first 5 min if you want the job or not. Either way you have to make it to the end. If you liked the job you wait for the “call back” in this case it would be a text. If you have no interest then you fear they may give you an offer.
How do I date when I have no idea what I am even looking for. I find myself looking at the time like dear lord is this going to end soon.
I think I have only had 3 dates in my life when I did not want them to end. I remember talking and looking down and 3 hours has passed. Some reason or another they did not work out. I believe they are the ones that got away. Either I have met them in the wrong part of my life or I met them in wrong time in there life.
The feeling of not wanting a night to end is priceless. The power of conversation is beyond great.
I guess I keep dating till I can find that connection again. How could I find that again. Does he really exist. Did he already come in to my life and we met at the wrong time? Is it possible the right one is out there for me?
I have managed to push away any one that I have felt a connection with. I have even lost them as friends. I have even been blocked. That is my next blog. The power of being blocked.
I feel nothing inside I am not sad or mad or any thing. I am just numb.
Why do I miss the the ones I connected with but they don’t miss me. I must be that forgettable. They can just forget and move on with out any thought. I wish I could do that. I wish they were just as forgettable as I am……