Every person I know has been affected by this horrible thing. More people have been affected by it than cancer. Yet, how much do we really hear about it? I always hear this same comment, “I have been low, before but never that low.” Well of course not! Because you don’t suffer from depression.

Another horrible thing that no one ever talks about, is that telling someone to “Snap out of it!” Is like telling a person with a hunch back to stand up straight. It’s a chemical in your brain that just isn’t right. It’s like telling a person with A.D.D. to pay more attention!

I was born with a disability. I suffer from a learning disability (I will talk about it more in another blog).  For all of my life, I remember my dad suffering from depression. It’s something I don’t speak about very often. It’s sad that it’s more socially acceptable to have cancer, than it is to have a mental disability.

It has been a few years now, but I still remember where I was, and what I was doing, when I got the phone call that my cousin had killed himself. My first thoughts were, “OMG! The poor kids! They will have to live with that their whole lives.” The story will never become easier.

I have always felt a strong connection with my Aunt, his mom. Like me, she also had two boys, and was divorced. Her ex was a nuke in the navy, the same as my ex. She had been a single mom, and did what she had to do, to raise her two boys. She worked many different jobs; the same jobs that I have had to work,  to survive. You do what you have to do.

Then instantly, my mind went to thoughts of my boys, and how I would feel if I lost one of then to this horrible disease. I felt anger, and to be honest, I still do. I understand it’s a disease, but why isn’t there more help? How could he do this to his poor kids? His mom, brother, family, and friends? How dare he do this! Then saddest enters when I imagine how alone he must have felt, and how his mind was so mean to him, to make him think this world would be better off, without him.

My first knowledge of this horrible disease was when I was much younger. My sister’s friend had killed himself. He was so young! My sister was so upset. If I recall correctly, she had lost 2 friends in a year. It was so long ago, I may have gotten the facts wrong, but I am sure she will correct me. LOL. I think my sister and her friend were 13. I was like 10, or so. I was so confused and I did not understand why or even how this could happen. It was so many years ago, and I still don’t have the answers. I remember reading on Facebook that one of the guys I went to high school with, had killed himself. My thoughts were, that he was so young and so full of life.

Then again, the anger comes that with so many people dying from car accidents, cancer, heart attacks, etc…that someone would take their own life. Some people pray in desperation, for just one more day on earth. Then you have people who choose to leave on purpose, way too early. Is there not enough help? What is the problem? Why is depression such a hard topic to talk about?

You have people who have spent millions on medical procedures, just to have, maybe another 6 months of life. There are people who fear they might become ill, and not be able to see their kids grow up. Then you have another horrible disease…drug addiction. No one ever wakes up and says, “Today is the day I am going to get hooked on drugs and slowly kill myself.” I also believe that the people who take their life, also don’t wake up and say, “Today is the day I end my life.”

The next time you see someone sad, or going through something, talk to them. See what it’s like in their dark hole. Maybe you can pull them out and get them help. I wish everyday I would have reached out to my cousin. Suicide is never the answer, ever! It’s selfish and it just hurts everyone you love. Please get help if  you are feeling low. Go to the doctor and get meds. Get help!

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline


24/7 – Free – Confidential

One thought on “Suicide

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  1. I was an EMT in London for a long time, and soon learned that people who talk about committing suicide generally end up doing just that. Suicide rates in young people here have increased dramatically since the wider use of social media platforms like Facebook, and the trend continues upward. It may soon be an epidemic, at least in the western world.
    Many thanks for following my blog.
    Best wishes, Pete.


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